Communication problems are often at the heart of most problems within a ny Christian dating relationship and this is often the result of one partner being unwilling to open up and be honest about their feelings within the relationship. Unfortunately, this destructive behaviour can completely destroy the relationship from the inside out. Are the following behaviours ringing any bells to you? The Silent Treatment, Avoidance, Denial, Blame. All of these are ways to shut you out and to avoid the real problems.
If you respond in an emotional way, as most people do, you will probably find that you will end up pushing your partner away even more. So what should you avoid doing in a time of miscommunication?
When dealing with someone who simply refuses to communicate with you, nagging is often a last resort. While it can be frustrating for the nagger, the person being nagged very often ends up resenting them.
Don’t demean yourself in front of your partner. This is destructive and your partner will lose respect for you. You will not get anywhere with this approach anyway.
Moaning and criticising your partner for not talking to you about the problem is not going to encourage him/her to talk to you. You may be encouraging them to keep quiet even more.
While these may work in the movies, this is real life and ultimatums usually just make people feel like they are being manipulated so leave this for “Neighbours” and give your partner some time and space to feel safe enough to talk about what is bothering them.
#5: Getting Angry
You may feel justified in your anger but emotional outbursts don’t open the door up for honesty and open communication. By giving way to your anger, you are making it less likely that your partner will feel like opening up to you.
What should you be doing, instead?
Clearly state your feelings, let them know you value your relationship but make it clear that you need to know what they are thinking and feeling as well.
Don’t expect an immediate response. Very often, getting the nerve up to even discuss the problem is just the first part and choosing the right words can also take time.
Make sure you are both in no hurry, not stressed or tired and that you have no distractions keeping you from understanding each other’s real meanings.
Don’t interrupt or make comments until your partner has finished talking. If you have questions or comments, save these for once they are done saying what is on their minds.
#5: Pray together
A happy couple prays together. It is a level of intimacy that is very personal and can save your relationship. When you pray together and for each other, your true heart for your partner is revealed both to God and to your spouse. Never underestimate the power of prayer.
While some of these points may seem easy or obvious, you will be surprised how often we breach these suggestions in an effort to get our own points across. But with practice, these better principles can become second nature to us. God Bless!
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