The words “You’re nobody til somebody loves you” continually echo in my mind as I ponder on this phrase. It’s those famous words sung by singer/actor Frank Sinatra that prompted my deliberation on what such a view actually means to me. Do they mean that I am insignificant until somebody begins to love me? Does this “conclusive” statement mean that unless somebody loves me, I am meaningless? Does my significance as a person really depend on whether someone loves me or not?
In the same song, Frank Sinatra goes on to sing “find yourself somebody to love”. What if I never find myself someone to love? Would that mean that I will remain “a nobody” for the rest of my life? The more I think about these phrases, the more I feel like my identity and self worth are being challenged.
It’s a twisted idea that somebody has to love me in order for me to become “a somebody”. Is my self worth really based on finding someone that will love me? – an interesting concept.
There are a number of different ways our self worth is viewed. Often, we tend to base our self worth on what other people have said about us or on what society believes is self worth. The world tells us that we are nothing unless we have a high paying job, overflowing pockets or have made the cover of a glossy magazine.
Some people even look down upon those that are single. We also have our own perception of who qualifies to be called “a somebody”. We may even have an overly inflated view of ourselves, or a very low self-esteem. But there is another point of view that I believe is by far greater than any other perspective – God’s [Christian] view.
The bible tells us that God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1 verse 27). It wasn’t by accident that we came into being. God had a plan for us. He created human kind in His own image [mind, spirit, character, etc] and with a plan and purpose in mind for each of us.
Special to God
We are special to God. Indeed everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the very simple fact that I am [exist] is already important to God.
In reality, it doesn’t matter what society says, it’s God’s opinion that is fundamental to our self worth. Nor should we think too highly of ourselves or too low of ourselves, but having a balance is key. It is important to have a healthy view of self and remembering to love our neighbours as we do ourselves (Mark 12:31).
Psalm 139 verses 13-14 expresses how special we are to God beautifully: “For you [God] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.
Furthermore, God expressed his love for mankind when he sent his only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. While we were still sinners, Christ died for our sins (Romans 5 verse 8) in order to reconcile our relationship with God. I believe there is no greater love shown than when Jesus perished on that cross for my sins. By God’s abounding grace, through a belief in His son, Jesus Christ, he forgave me for all the wrongs I had done, gave me life instead of the punishment I deserved for my sin (John 3:16).
So where do I find fulfilment? Am I a nobody?
I am not defined by the shoes I wear, my profession or the colour of my skin. I am not even defined by another person’s feelings towards me. My self worth is found beyond what the world perceives.
I shake my head and rid my mind of the thought that I have to find somebody to love to be “a somebody”, and I remember who it is that I am – a person wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of God.
Kandima Awendila was born in Mozambique and lives and works as an IT Service Desk Engineer on the Gold Coast.
Kandi Awendila’s archive of articles may be viewed at
By: Kandima Awendila
A Press Service International voluntary Comment writer for Christian Today Australia