How to date as an older single Christian

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Many times we associate dating with young people looking for love, starting their lives as young adults but the truth of the matter is that, in fact, many single Christians are not young. They are middle aged and older.

When we are young, it feels so effortless to date and you view it as something fun to do. The end goal may be to find a life partner but at a young and impressionable age, there is nothing wrong with finding new friends along the way who will not be potential marriage partners.

As we get older, dating can become a very serious thing. So how do we navigate the dating world without it becoming a very emotional activity? With tons of prayer and thoughtfulness which needs to direct our paths.

In any dating relationship, the focus is ideally marriage and one should pray and ask God if there is anything about ourselves that we need to address before looking for the right partner. Sometimes, we ourselves need a little work before we can offer ourselves into a dating relationship and what we think we want is not necessarily what is best for us.

Start praying for your partner, even if you haven’t met him or her yet and that you would be able to come into contact with this person. Surround yourself with friends, singles, and partake in social events (in a Christian environment) so that you are not at home waiting for someone to come to you. This rarely produces anything but bitterness and discouragement.

You can build solid friendships within a church environment and learn everything you need to know about whether a person is compatible with you by spending time with them and hearing what makes them happy, what makes them sad, what they do with their time, their money and their energy.

If you meet someone in a church meeting and you can barely have a conversation with them because they are so attached to their phone and they barely pay attention to you, you can be sure that this part of their usual behavior at home too. In the same breath, if you are the one that is permanently attached to your phone, you may be sending out an “unavailable” or “disinterested” vibe.

As an older single, it is important to choose someone you trust to be your accountability partner so you can avoid falling into temptation. When the younger generation dates, you know that there is someone watching out for them, whether it is their parents, their youth leaders, or their friends – hopefully.

When an older couple starts dating, people automatically assume that they will be ‘mature’ enough to withstand temptation. This is very often not the case as it has nothing to do with maturity and all to do with the situations we place ourselves in and how grounded we are in our convictions.

In all things, pray and ask God for wisdom!

God Bless!

Image Credit: Cafe Escapes

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